As the amount of possessions I own and the number of days left before my flight dwindles down, the reality of this whole thing is really sinking in. It’s really happening. I’m really doing this. It’s unreal.

The past few months but especially the past few weeks and even more especially that last few days have been an emotional roller coaster. Getting rid of everything I own. Surrendering my cats. Possibly trying to sell my condo at the worst possible time. Wondering if this is a good idea or if I’m going to give up in a month and come back and have to buy all new furniture and stuff again and start working again and and and and and

For me I think the biggest problem I’m trying to solve with this new direction is getting out of the house. I never do. So I don’t meet new people. I don’t explore new places. I just kind of exist for the sake of existing. But on the trail, on the road, my default action is to keep moving. I don’t have to plan a weekend trip a month in advance I just go. I can get somewhere that I’ve been excited to go to, not like it, and just leave. Or get somewhere and unexpectedly love it and stay a while. I don’t have to say “I’ll come back here some day” and never do, or make it a huge event, I just stick around a bit.

Being out on the road also means I just naturally meet people more. The spontaneous “family dinner” situations I’ve had around picnic tables and hut tables and tables in hostels and such have been amazing! Running into people again further up the road is not at all uncommon, and with modern technology, keeping in touch and arranging to meet with folks is super easy! Plus everyone always has cool stories and amazing ideas for the next thing to do.

Every day I think of something else I need to do to my place before I try to sell it or rent it, and it scares me. Every day I think about running out of money on the road and having to scurry home and start working again quickly. Every day I worry that the grass really isn’t greener on the other side. That maybe I should stay home and try to figure out how to get out more, how to eat less, how to lose weight, how to make my home feel less shameful, how to fix everything in my life that I feel is broken.

But I also think about how much fun I’ve had doing this sort of thing in the past. The first trip to New Zealand. Japan. Te Araroa. The Pieterpad. And how much I love visiting new places and thinking about how people live in those areas. How much I love just being outside and moving. Even when it’s crappy and rainy. Or when there’s a headwind.

My thoughts right now are pretty scattered and random. I’m exhausted after weeks now of preparing to depart. 5 more days and I’m on a plane. Bags are starting to get packed, the bike is boxed and ready for the plane, storage unit is getting more full, and my stuff is rapidly flying out the door now that it’s all listed as free on Craigslist.

I wanted to write this because I felt I needed to cover the anxiety and the doubts and just how scared I am and how excited I am and all of that. I am confident that once I hit the road and once things settle down regarding my condo, I’ll be in a lot happier place. Right now I just gotta put in the hard work to get there.

Ultimately, I’m proud of myself for taking this leap. I’m incredibly fortunate and privileged to be able to do this, so not doing it would be such a waste. Hopefully I can adequately share my experiences to either inspire others to do it or at least live vicariously through me.

Anywho, enough babbling.

I said earlier the bike was boxed and the bags are starting to get packed. I don’t have a full gear list yet because that won’t really be finalized until I’m in Auckland, once I’m ready to actually hit the road. But here’s a shot of “the pile” as it stands tonight.

That Kona box is a lie. It’s not a tv in the box nor is it a Kona. That’s just the box Joe Bike used when I hired them to pack it up for me today. I’ll post a full gear list and spread next week before I pack the bike up to head out on the road. For now, this is just a little teaser.

I am super excited to be doing this and can’t wait to be on the road!